Alcohol, Acceptance and Compromise - The #GoingToUni SeriesJess Ford - 29 Aug 2014

I can remember it so clearly, my first afternoon at uni; still feeling a little nervous and unsure about my new surroundings. I had met two girls that were going to be my housemates for the next year and had started to feel a little more relaxed after the small talk and giggles. I knew, though, as the conversation went on where it would eventually go – and I had been so nervous about telling my new housemates about not only being a Christian, but also being teetotal.

After spending a lot of my later teenager years on nights out and in on-going debates with myself about alcohol and ‘how much was too much?’, I decided to challenge myself to go fully teetotal through uni – eliminate any chance for grey areas I’d struggle to navigate and spend the most alcohol soaked years of most people's lives totally sober. Giving up alcohol is not something everyone needs to do, but it's something I had to do.

But I was entering a world where that wasn’t a common choice…

So, in the first week, the conversation came up with my new housemates as to what alcohol we had bought with us for Fresher’s week. I nervously looked at them and explained that I hadn’t bought any with me - and that I wasn’t planning on having any at all.

Why? Cos I felt challenged not to. Why? Well, I was a Christian – and that’s where my faith was at.

They paused, but their eventual reply was more than I had hoped for.

They just said; “Oh cool. Sounds fun”. And that was it.

This is one of my first memories of uni: acceptance.

Now another day had been on my mind all that week - netball trials.

I was desperate to join the netball team at uni and was determined to not allow my nerves to stop me from going along. The afternoon went well and I was selected to be on a team.

This was a good thing of course, but there was one major downside. With team selections came one thing: initiations - and the main focus of initiations was a lot of drinking.

I stuck to my convictions and didn’t get involved, but this immediately set me apart from the rest of the team. I was instantly different to everyone else that night and just seemed not to fit in. This had a huge knock on effect for my three years playing netball for uni. I never totally fitted in; I always felt different and separate and really struggled with the loneliness in that world.

Another of my earliest memories of uni: not being accepted.

Everyone experiences different kinds of acceptance at university. Before starting university I presumed that I would find my acceptance at church or at the CU as that was the obvious world where other like-minded people would be - but actually, I found my acceptance at home with my housemates, none of whom knew Jesus.

They loved me for who I was, respected me for my views and supported me through my three years at uni. They were the best housemates I could have asked for and God really taught me a lot through their friendship with me.

Starting university can be a scary time and can fill us with worries and fears about acceptance - and unfortunately, acceptance is not something that we can engineer or force. On the contrary, if we try too hard to force it to happen we can find ourselves compromising and not truly happy even where we are accepted.

BUT - the one place we can find our acceptance and know that it is not going to be misplaced or rejected is God. God accepts us for who we are, he loves us for who we are and he welcomes us into His family with open arms.

He is our secure, unshakable base in amongst the unpredictability of our university experience.

When we’re striving to be the people God wants us to be, to face the challenges he sets out for us, we have to follow him, not everyone around us. This can isolate us - but that doesn’t make it wrong. The lack of acceptance in these circumstances is of course difficult, often trying - but truly important too. Our identity, our security, has got to come from God, not our peers. I wasn't judged for my beliefs at uni, I was judged for my actions.

I found acceptance and I kept my head. And I grew.

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Psalm 16:8

This is part 2 of our #GoingToUni Series, find the other parts here: 
 'Getting Ready to Leave' 
 'Failing at Faith'
The Biggest Secret I learnt at University