Sometimes I feel like a crazy mixture of so much stuff. Like God just randomly put some gifts, talents, personality quirks, and weaknesses, threw them in a bottle, shook it up, and I popped out. But now, for the first time in my life, I feel free. Let me explain.

 

When I was a kid I had a natural wonder, curiosity, and passion for life. As I grew up, I allowed other people to steal my passion and drive... slowly…accidentally... I didn't even realize it until recently. I looked in the mirror and saw a guy spiritually alive, but without a clue about his purpose.

 

Aren’t our passions supposed to give us some clue about our purpose? Let’s see…well, during college I would skip class, go to Barnes and Noble, drink coffee, and study film. All I thought was film, film, film, film.

 

And so through the years, even as the world was beating me down and draining me of my relationship with God, I did discover something I was passionate about: filmmaking.

 

I know now that, in many ways, my passion for film was exploited and twisted during years of distance from God. But since I've gotten my life back in shape with God, I've been asking this one question again and again about my purpose: "Is it wrong for me to spend my energy on something non-sacred like filmmaking?"

To some, the answer may seem obvious, but not to me. While I have this passion for filmmaking, I also know that God has called me to be a minister and a missionary. I struggle with insecurity about the sacred vs. the secular. How can I spend my energy on something non-religious like filmmaking when there is a world to save?

Then, like a beacon in the night…Newsflash, Kevin! I remember that I am not Superman. I cannot single-handedly save the world, but that's the lie that the infusion of modern culture and religion has taught me. "It is up to us. It is up to me." No, it is up to the Holy Spirit of God acting through people who give their lives over to Him and live with purity, passion, and holiness!

 

I remember how this happens. Not through some ‘Indiana Jones’ heroics, but instead  through everyday life. Through my investment into my family. Through my friendships and connections at church. Through my relationships at work.

 

And…hang on…if ministry can happen in our relationships at work, then it can happen to me if I work diligently in the profession of film! And the crazy thing is that it's a realistic possibility to get a job in some area of filmmaking right here, right now at home. Ever since Hurricane Katrina, my hometown has been flooded with filmmakers fleeing New Orleans for a different place to film.

 

It doesn't matter what I do. It doesn't matter if I label it as sacred or secular. Whatever I do, if I do it all to please my God and not others, and do the best job I can possibly do, then I know that it's holy, and I know the Holy Spirit will guide me along the way.

 

That sounds like freedom. I am free to express myself with making films. Free to study so I can become the minister and missionary that God wants me to be.

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Kevin Alexander works as a news videographer in Shreveport, Louisiana and is a contributing volunteer journalist for 24-7 Prayer.

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